Friday, April 22, 2011

calm down









































i read a book over the holidays that has helped me tremendously called 'simplicity parenting' by kim john payne.


the first time i read this book i cried. i cried out of guilt at all the things i felt i had already done wrong, i cried at what a sweet spirit i have been given to look out for and had been letting down, i cried because i have already taken her to disneyland and she's already watched yo gabba gabba which is SO out of line with the book. then i re-read, trying not to judge myself, to determine what i could implement into our daily lives. 

the four basic premises of his book and workshops are:


environment - de-cluttering too much stuff at home.

rhythm - increasing predictabability by introducing rhythmic movements for connection and calm.

scheduling - soothing violent schedules brings moments for being into all the doing.

unplugging - reducing the influence of adult concerns, media and consumerism on children and families increases resilience, social and emotional intelligence.


i have noticed subtle shifts in elodie's behavior when we follow his advice. we put away a bunch of toys and books that really can wait until she is older. we passively listen to music in the morning and night (unless we are having a dance party of course) and just as the sun always rises, she knows what her morning and nights are going to look like. because the nature of the world is towards entropy, simplicity takes a lot of tending to but i'm convinced it's worth it!

oh and p.s...
























image via heather heron

10 comments:

  1. i love this. I will have to read it before our babe is born.

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  2. OK, I am reading this book right now and it has been revolutionary in our home. I LOVE his message. It feels so right. We heard him speak a year ago or so at our kids' school. Have you heard him live?

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  3. I want this book. I too will cry. I want to slow down and even made "simplify" my word for 2011... but don't know how. Thank you. Thank you... thank YOU!

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  4. It is a wonderful book. And this is a wonderful post. Lucky little :)

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  5. Don't be so hard on yourself. I felt the same when my kids were babies. I guess these are the things you go through when you are a new parent. It's natural. They are now 6 and 7. I have read books, asked questions in school and talked to my friends. The one thing that I am sure of is that if you give your children a loving home with all your love, a good balance in daily life and good direction, they will grow in the right direction. The most important having a sense of family first and being a good person.

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  6. I read your lovely blog regularly. The loving and beautiful spirit that comes across in your posts says clearly that you have done Elodie no harm up to this point. Your joy in her existance is so clear that there is no way she has not thrived with you as her mama. I have a tiny daughter too, so thank you for this book suggestion that is bound to have its good effect on our household as well. Also, thanks for the music download the other day!

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  7. it is so comforting to hear others struggling with the same things! i desperately want to simplify life in our home! it can be difficult to stay focused. thank you for the BOOK recommendation. i am anxious to get the guidelines to combat the war against MORE!

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  8. I heard kim john payne speak a few months ago. His message is like no other in the world of parenting and child rearing. And, I felt so aligned with his suggestions and ideas. And I think Disneyland and the occasional movie on screen can be part of the simplicity parenting path - it's about balancing things and being aware and knowing when be loud and when to be quiet.

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  9. thank you all for your sweet responses. it is so, so hard to not feel guilty sometimes and i really appreciate the feedback and advice! be well! xo

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  10. i need to start a book list asap....

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