Friday, October 12, 2012
when life gives you a breech baby...
so i'm in a very interesting position. my little girl has been double footling breech for the past 9 weeks. when i wrote this post, my birth options seemed very simple. i would labor at home for as long as possible with my doula and then head to the hospital to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth. just like i had done with elodie.
my latest parenting lesson: every child is different. the way they choose to come to you is different. you are hilarious for thinking you have any control over this.
i have spent a great deal of my last trimester trying to change these circumstances including:
1. all the exercises on spinningbabies.com, a great resource for turning breech babies
2. visits with the chiropractor doctor berlin. he is somewhat of a local hero here in los angeles, known for his ability to turn breech babies and as an advocate of vaginal breech births
3. acupuncture combined with moxabustion (which i'm slightly addicted to)
4. headstands in pools
5. researching midwives and doctors who will deliver breech babies vaginally in the hospital and at home (not one would do a footling breech)
5. having elodie and michael talk to her down low, shine a flashlight on her, play music
6. and last, but not least, asking her many times if she would please turn around
part of me feels responsible for her not turning. that i have been so busy with our move that i haven't been there for her the way i was with elodie. it's really hard to not beat myself up about that but i am finally coming around to the fact that maybe she just likes where she is. with her head up under my ribs close to my heart and voice.
the idea of a scheduled c-section has been uncomfortable for me and i've spent the last few weeks worrying so much about it. last week i decided enough was enough. that i was creating so much more resistance during these final, beautiful weeks than was necessary. i have reached out to many friends and acquaintances to hear their c-section experiences and have to say that i'm finally getting to a place of peace if this is the route for me. i am so thankful for all of the women who have come forth to share advice and tell me their stories. i am so thankful to be a woman going through this amazing experience called birth. i am so thankful that i have this option. i am so thankful that i am having a little girl who has already started teaching me much needed lessons. i thought with elodie's birth that i had learned about surrender, apparently, i have more to learn.
so now i am turning all my focus on relaxing into this last bit of time. maybe that in itself will turn her. if not, i am now prepared for this new experience. i am choosing to not to do an external version as my doctor thinks i will have less than a 30% chance of success due to a low-lying anterior placenta. i know many women end up with scary emergency c-sections (and doing an external version could cause this to happen) and i am grateful that i have time to prepare. my eye is on the prize. welcoming my daughter in as peaceful and safe way as possible.
i am sharing this in the event that another mama might end up finding some useful information if they end up with a breech baby. the good news is that a very low percentage of babies stay breech so it really is worth trying everything!
photo by bonnie tsang