Friday, October 12, 2012

when life gives you a breech baby...































so i'm in a very interesting position. my little girl has been double footling breech for the past 9 weeks. when i wrote this post, my birth options seemed very simple. i would labor at home for as long as possible with my doula and then head to the hospital to have an unmedicated, vaginal birth. just like i had done with elodie.

my latest parenting lesson: every child is different. the way they choose to come to you is different. you are hilarious for thinking you have any control over this. 

i have spent a great deal of my last trimester trying to change these circumstances including:

1. all the exercises on spinningbabies.com, a great resource for turning breech babies
2. visits with the chiropractor doctor berlin. he is somewhat of a local hero here in los angeles, known for his ability to turn breech babies and as an advocate of vaginal breech births
3. acupuncture combined with moxabustion (which i'm slightly addicted to)
4. headstands in pools
5. researching midwives and doctors who will deliver breech babies vaginally in the hospital and at home (not one would do a footling breech)
5. having elodie and michael talk to her down low, shine a flashlight on her, play music
6. and last, but not least, asking her many times if she would please turn around

part of me feels responsible for her not turning. that i have been so busy with our move that i haven't been there for her the way i was with elodie. it's really hard to not beat myself up about that but i am finally coming around to the fact that maybe she just likes where she is. with her head up under my ribs close to my heart and voice.

the idea of a scheduled c-section has been uncomfortable for me and i've spent the last few weeks worrying so much about it. last week i decided enough was enough. that i was creating so much more resistance during these final, beautiful weeks than was necessary. i have reached out to many friends and acquaintances to hear their c-section experiences and have to say that i'm finally getting to a place of peace if this is the route for me. i am so thankful for all of the women who have come forth to share advice and tell me their stories. i am so thankful to be a woman going through this amazing experience called birth. i am so thankful that i have this option. i am so thankful that i am having a little girl who has already started teaching me much needed lessons. i thought with elodie's birth that i had learned about surrender, apparently, i have more to learn.

so now i am turning all my focus on relaxing into this last bit of time. maybe that in itself will turn her.  if not, i am now prepared for this new experience. i am choosing to not to do an external version as my doctor thinks i will have less than a 30% chance of success due to a low-lying anterior placenta. i know many women end up with scary emergency c-sections (and doing an external version could cause this to happen) and i am grateful that i have time to prepare. my eye is on the prize. welcoming my daughter in as peaceful and safe way as possible.

i am sharing this in the event that another mama might end up finding some useful information if they end up with a breech baby. the good news is that a very low percentage of babies stay breech so it really is worth trying everything!

photo by bonnie tsang

43 comments:

  1. I'm so glad that you're feeling slightly better about it all. I too chose not to have a manipulation turn because I didn't want everything being emergency based. Savannah was not in any pain being breech, and I began labour naturally, so she still got to decide when she was ready to arrive, be it c-section, but I was awake, and fully there. Oh these babies know what they're up, they are so amazingly clever. Enjoy your last few weeks. Stella xx

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  2. Aurélie was breech too and what ever I tried to do to make her turn around, it didn't work. Luckily, because as we learned later, there was some sort of a beside-placenta, so it would have been very bad for both of us, if she would have managed to turn. As it comes to c-section: As you are narcotized and still get all the pressure of opening the muscles and getting the baby out, it's kind of a strange experience, but oh so worth it to anyway be awake, and, as Stella says, fully there. When I got stitched, Aurélie was in her Daddys arms and close to my face and right after the doctor was done I had her on my chest. So no need to worry about waiting too long until bonding.

    And if we talk about names: Elodie was on our list too, but as my husband would have been an Aurelia in case of being a girl, Aurélie was the final choice (made a minute after birth and paired with Mathilda - Elodie Sophie and Elodie Mathilda were the other combinations). I think, Aurélie would fit Elodie perfectly.

    During c-section (schedulded, as I wanted to avoid any risk) I was awake and fully there too

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  3. ...sorry, forgot to delete an uncompleted sentences about c-section. Just stop reading at "Aurélie would fit Elodie perfecty" :-)

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  4. just changing the word from ection to birth makes a big difference. Cesarean Birth!

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  5. I had a scheduled c section and it was brilliant. Fantastic team,surgeon and it all happened so fast. I dont understand what there is to be so worked up about or scared about. The important thing is the outcome - your child! It doesnt matter HOW it comes out,what matters is that it comes out! Its a beautiful experience either way.
    Be proud of yourself and your baby to come. C section,natural, birth pool or whatever. Im pregnant with baby number two and i have chosen to have c section again. It will be a great experience!

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  6. when life gives you lemons you turn them into lemonade, right? :) i totally agree with you about parental life lessons...these beautiful children teach us to "let go!" I will be praying for you in the next few weeks as you go through the beautiful rite of passage in welcoming your daughter into the world. This experience will only make you a stronger and more beautiful mother for this perfect baby to come.

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  7. Here is a story I like about a scheduled c-section http://offbeatmama.com/2010/11/tavi-birth it's about harnessing the control of a scheduled c-section to create the environment you want.

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  8. Hugs mama. I was in your very same situation five years ago. My first child (also with a low lying anterior placenta) was breech. I did deliver via scheduled c-section ( I did try all the things you listed as well). Coming to a place of peace regarding that situation was something that took me a bit to come around to, but eventually I did. I have had two more lovely children (also via c-section) since then. Each section was scheduled and my recoveries were well managed and the surgeries all went very well. If this is the route that your baby has in mind for you, I truly believe, that for reasons I'll likely never know or understand, it was supposed to be that way. Maybe my first son knew something I didn't? Peace to you. xx

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  9. My little girl was footling breech from 20 weeks, we tried everything to make her move but nothing worked, and I declined an ECV also due to having a front placenta.

    I was terrified of having a c-section, but in reality it was incredible and I had the most wonderfully positive birth experience. Yes it is major surgery, but it was a calming and beautiful experience- the recovery was hard but not terrible. I am now pregnant with my second baby and am already questioning whether I want to try for a natural birth or continue with another c-section.

    I hope you don't mind me linking but I have written a few posts on my c-section which may help you...

    http://www.mummydaddyandmemakesthree.co.uk/index.php/home/the-gallery-birth

    Good luck x

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  10. Thank you for sharing this - my baby is breech just like her sister was. With both pregnancies I've tried EVERYTHING on your list... It's been complicated by low levels of amniotic fluid towards end of my pregnancies... My greatest fear was to have c-section... I ended up with emergency c-section first time around which was quite shocking. I really appreciate your words about surrender, peaceful welcomes and enjoying this time. Thanks to other comments too. So timely for me to read this now.best wishes from Melbourne, Australia x

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  11. I hear you! It's all going to be OK. My first (and only) baby wasn't breach, but I ended up having an emergency C-section. So not what I wanted. We still got to do skin-to-skin right away. My husband held baby while I got stitched up and we all regrouped together (including nursing within the first hour). It was as close to what I planned for as a C-section could be and I found comfort in that.

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  12. What a playfully precious photo. I love it. I hope your and baby girl's birth is a beautiful one, regardless of how she comes out. Sending positive thoughts. Can't wait to see what she looks like.

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  13. Hi! Love reading this post. It reminds me so much of my experienced with my four kids. True that every birth is different. I have my normal and easy come out with my first daughter that I could able to leave the hospital after second day. Then I had a terrible labor with my second (son) which took me 14 hrs to labor then the doctor decided to give me a c-section, quite a relieve when they said that but I hope they decided a little bit earlier so I did'nt go experience those hard labor urgh. On the 3rd was a scheduled c- section too and quite relax that you know it all from the very start but still nervous when I laid myself on the operating room..whew! My fourth child was totally different and she's only turning 3 yrs old before the year ends. I have a 50/50 life and death to her that they took off my uterus just to save me. Glad to be given a chance to back in my life and enjoy the nurturing part of motherhood. These are one of the reasons why I love and adore my children.

    My prayers for you on a safe delivery of your child. Can't wait to see your newly born. God bless you and your family.

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  14. That was beautifully written!

    I had a homebirth with my older daughter..it was absoloutly amazing and i so wanted the same with my younger one. But she had her own mind..although it wasnt a c-section i did end up with an induced hospital birth. She stopped moving and after days off worrying and wanting a specific way I let it go..i listened to the concernes of my midwifes who wanted her out so we embraced it!
    Knowing your baby's birthday before hand was weird but we went into the hospital in great spirits, had champagne and a great takeaway meal and enjoyed it! She took less that 3 hrs to arrive and even though the births were very different they were both perfect!

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  15. Hi there Elizabeth! I've been following your blog for a while.....can't remember how I originally stumbled across it ( i think because we looked at getting your husband to play at our wedding as we had Jonas Peterson photographing it and he mentioned how awesome Flashdance was!) Anyway, I just thought I would share a little video my husband made of our daughters birth. I was exactly like you- did so much reading, a calmbirth course and was so excited for an as natural as possible birth, was practising my breathing every day etc. I really wanted to achieve a peaceful and calm entrance to the world for our baby. I was so upset when she was breech from 21 weeks and a footling too. I tried everything- i was so worried it wouldn't feel special, she would be taken away from me straight away, we wouldn't bond properly, it would affect breastfeeding etc.....BUT I shouldn't have worried. We had such a beautiful birth experience, Isabella was put straight on my chest (I demanded it although it was against the hospital policy), with a towel over the top to keep her warm in the theatre, she breastfed straight away and stayed with me. I think we've had a beautiful, close bond since she was born and it was the most incredible day of my life regardless. Here is our little video- i hope it'll show you that a c-section can still be beautiful, special and not to worry how your little girl arrives, as long as she's safe and healthy!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYKLb8LVV_s

    I am sure you'll have another beautiful birth experience. How exciting for you!!

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  16. Five months ago I had my first son, a breech baby (with a big head and birth weight of 4kg) - the hopsital where I was is very pro-natural birth but they strongly adviced against it in my case. Scheduled c-section it was, then. My water broke one week before the date when I was just in the hospital for a check-up. How lucky is that? I unfortunately can't compare to a natural birth, but I look back on this day with a big smile. Not only because I met my child but also because the c-section was a very relaxed and beautiful experience. If you understand German you can read my birth story here (I hope it's ok when I link it): http://37quadrat.wordpress.com/2012/05/26/la-naissance-de-samuel/

    Quick summary in case you don't: Epidural didn't hurt, not a bit. It was all so very fast. Hearing the doctor tell us "one foot is out, here's the other one, we have one arm, the other shoulder and here is the head" was scary, exciting and wonderful. Hearing baby's first cry was more than amazing. They handed the baby immediately to his dad who then laid him on my chest where he stayed for at least ten minutes under a heating blanket. He calmed down the second he touched my skin.
    If I may offer some advice: The most important thing for us was, that baby had skin-to-skin contact only seconds after he was born and for a good two hours before he was checked by a pediatrician. If your hospital allows it, insist on it. It was great, too, that our baby "chose" his birthday. So if you can, schedule your c-section as late as they let you - perhaps you go in labor before.

    As disappointed as I first was to have a c-section, I don't regret it. Birth went smooth and Samuel is such a calm and happy healthy baby. Enjoy your birth experience - and your little baby!! Greetings, Lisette

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  17. What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. I had a really difficult first labor that ended up in emergency c-section. I still struggle with anger and unresolved feelings about it because I feel it was unnecessary. For my second, I wanted to do EVERYTHING I could for a V-BAC. God, I wanted it so badly. I did acupuncture, meditation, counseling, and most of all educating myself about it. When I did go into labor (with a new wonderful mid-wife I trusted completely), we soon realized a V-BAC wasn't going to happen. I ended up having a second c-section, BUT, this time it wasn't totally out of the blue. I knew there was a chance that it could happen. I was at peace with it because I knew that I had done everything I could to try and avoid it, but in the end, it wasn't meant to be. And, I had time to mentally prepare for the possibility. I hope your knowledge and awareness gives you peace too. Good luck, I'm sure you will have a beautiful experience no matter what.

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  18. I have been following your blog for a while and have even saw you at proof bakery a while back :)

    I was in the same position 2 years ago with my daugther being breech and I have done the same thing you are going thru the berlin wellness group as well. They were amazing, the moxa the chiropractic care, the acupuncture but at the end I had to have a
    c-section. I had doctors who were very patience and understanding with my wanting to have a vaginal birth and they were supportive thru out even till the birth. at 37 weeks went in for a scheduled external version but my daugther had other plans for me. While waiting for the different doctors to check and confirmed that the baby is still breech my OB was the last to check and she asked if I was having contractions and I told her no but she is saying that the monitor is saying otherwise, so she checked and I was already 4cm dilated so instead of doing an external version I had an unplanned c-section. It was an unexpected surprise and I called our doula and told her to come down to the hospital and as fast and hectic as things may have been I delivered a heathy beautiful baby girl via c-section. She was a very long girl at 21.5" at 37 weeks. As soon as she was out the doctor placed her on my chest and it was an amazing experience and as I was getting stitched up she was right next to me and she never left my side. I had hoped and wanted for a vaginal birth but at the end it wasn't meant to be but my c-section experience was as good and smooth as it can be.

    Life is always full of surprises and unexpected turns but no matter what happens things always seems to works it self out. regardless of what outcome maybe you will have a beautiful experience no matter what. have a wonderful birth!

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  19. Saw your post and couldn't help but share this link:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5RIcaK98Yg

    It describes a really powerful, mama-centered "natural caesarean" surgical environment that allows women to reclaim the natural birth experience, whether it is surgical or vaginal. Every type of birth can be made a beautiful, joyful experience if you and your caregivers are ready!

    Also, as I made peace with my first birth experience which ended in a caesarean, I came to realize how important it was to be specific with my vocabulary - calling it a "caesarean birth" NOT a "caesarean section". A "section" happens TO you, a "birth" you participate in... Two cents from a VBAC mama. :)

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  20. such an inspiring post- thank you for sharing. It is nice to see a mother surrender and not put too much emphasis on expectations. I wanted an all-natural birth with my second, but a placenta abruption caused me to go into an on and off state of pre-term labor for awhile until it came to a point that they had to induce me. After the induction, I was med-free and she was born healthy :)
    xo

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  21. I've experienced both an emergency c-section (failure to progress and distressed bub) and a vbac second time around drug free. Both births were beautiful, amazing and inspiring although so completely different (private hospital/OB vs birthing centre/Doula). While I was disappointed with the outcome first time around, what I was most disappointed in was that I felt I had made a decision based on fear and lack of education. Second time around, I was completely prepared, had a plethora of resources and my confidence was high but I was always open to the possibility of a different scenario and for me I think that's key. It's feeling comfortable/confident in your decision whatever that may be. In the event of a c-section, I had asked hospital to still ensure skin to skin, no weighing/measuring etc for first half hour and my Doula was still going to do placenta encapsulation, maybe if you have a c-section you could ask hospital to do same? Either way, the journey of motherhood is the joy that awaits : ) Best of luck

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  22. Really impressed! Everything is very, very clear, open is a description of the problem. It contains the information.

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  23. you are such a great momma. you are putting her needs above anything else (expectations, plans), which is the best path possible. I can't wait to hear of her journey.

    she's been a plan changer from the beginning (remember when you were told she was a boy). she's going to keep you guessing. I like her already.

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  24. Melanie from SydneyOctober 18, 2012 at 4:21 AM

    When I was pregnant and was having the issue of wanting all things natural and worried about even using an obstetrician against a midwife, a neonatologist whom I work with (I am a NICU nurse) said to me, that the most important thing is getting that little being into the world via the safest way possible. That you may want the natural vaginal delivery but if you need to deliver another way to ensure your baby arrives safe to grow up and thrive in this world, then do whatever you have to. At the end of the day that little person inside of you won't remember how she got here, just that she is loved by a wonderful mama and big sister and daddy, and that she is as healthy as possible. That is all that is important.

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  25. We discovered our first daughter was breech when I got to the hospital at 7 cm. After the OB on call expressed she wasn't confident in her ability to do a breech delivery, I had a cesarean birth. For a long time I mourned the surprise aspect of the situation, but I now know that there were positive aspects to that. This past August, I had a med free vbac that went perfectly in every way it could've.

    With the perspective of both births under my belt, I have to say that they were truly equally amazing and beautiful. It truly all was my state of mind that mattered. I may have even been more present and accepting during my cesarean because I wasn't getting the birth I thought I wanted so I just surrendered. With my second, I was so focused during the pregnancy on controlling the outcome (good positioning, etc), and so focused during the birth on a vbac - and then on the unexpected pain of pushing - that a little of the simple joy of the miraculousness of it all was lost. Worry is the thief of joy and all that.

    Love and compassion to you as you navigate this new experience. Treat yourself as kindly as you would this baby (no blame) and your heart will be open to what may come.

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  26. gosh, you are so good. i am glad you were able to let go of the guilty feelings. that is always the hardest part for me. lucky kiddos to have such a momma!

    the birth on my site that i photographed was a c section. also not what they had hoped for, but man. was it amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    sigh.

    so excited for you guys.

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  27. Just discovered your blog this evening, and I do love it.

    As another reader posted, look to what may come as a cesarean "birth". Whichever route your little one comes is a "birth" and she will be choosing. She knows what is right for you and for her.

    Many positive labor and birth vibes to you!

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  28. Same exact situation with Cheech. I sobbed when my doctor told us. Nothing worked, and because I had more amniotic fluid than average, they gave me a 25% success rate for a version. I also have a cousin whose baby was breech, and she claimed that she would NEVER try a version again.

    Up until the last minute, I was desperately hoping that she would turn. But you know, the second she came out, I could not care one bit that she didn't come via my vagina. She was HERE and she was PERFECT, and NOTHING else mattered. It's so true that our children teach us so much. In a thousand ways, including her birth, Cheech has taught me that not having control of every, single little thing does not signify the end of the world. It can be quite beautiful, actually.

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  29. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! A close friend is closing in on the final weeks of her 2nd pregnancy and just found out her baby flipped and is now breech. She is having an incredibly difficult time with it as she had planned for a natural birth this time around after having a difficult medicalized birth last time. I will share your post with her - I am sure it will give her peace of mind knowing she is not alone in her feelings and emotions.

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  30. thank you for this post. such beautiful words. and i think it's great to talk about all the options for turning baby out there for others. most don't even know they have avenues of action. good luck!

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  31. Thank you so much for this honesty and vulnerability! I found this post after Google-ing "I feel guilty about scheduling a csection for my breech baby," and your story is just what I needed to read. I worked for a maternity ward that was very natural birth friendly, have several friends and family who are almost militant about it, so his whole pregnancy has been about me and my husband reading, researching, and practicing everything to do with natural childbirth. But then at 28 weeks, our baby was complete breech. No big deal, right? Surely he would turn. So I started doing everything on spinningbabies.com. But with every OB visit, the news never changed. He has been in the exact same position ever since; not a single sign on budging. I, too declined an ECV for fear of an emergncy surgery. But again, I just knew he had time. So I saw a chiropractor, much to the dismay of our non-existent finances, just praying it would work since the Webster technique had worked for other family and friends. Well, as of today, at just under 40 weeks, our son has not moved, and he is basically out of room due to his length (I'm 5'10" hubby is 6'5"...I was destined to have one tall baby!) so the doc pushed a scheduled cesarean. I have felt guilt-ridden for a whole week since the reality set in that my natural birth plan was going to bust. After talkin to some old co-workers who encouraged me to embrace the surgery since this is usually a sign of unforeseen complications, I have felt a little more at ease. But here I am at 2 am, lying in bed in tears wondering if I'm making a huge mistake. So, thank you for your story, for your willing exposure. Honestly, nothing has made me feel more at peace than you just did.

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  32. I just wanted to say this is beautiful & I am in tears..... My first daughter, I had a "perfect labor/delivery" Water broke on toilet, contractions picked up, went to hospital & 4 hours later she was here. I just assumed 2nd daughter would be the same. I was 36 weeks when I found out my 2nd daughter was breech (the entire time mid-wife said she was head down & ready to go, u/s proved us all wrong). I tried spinninbabies, Webster Technique, frozen peas, womb music, & just had an ECV yesterday. They got her turned & she spun right back around. I never thought that maybe she liked to be near my heart & voice & was comfortable & that I need to quit fighting this whole issue. I had become so fixated on turning her this past week, that I am losing sight of the bigger picture. THANK-YOU....I will enjoy my last 2 weeks of pregnancy, schedule my C Birth & be happy with what I have been given, another beautiful daughter <3

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    1. sending love for a peaceful birth experience!!

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  33. You sure can't control which position each baby wants to enter the world in, can you?!
    I (almost) have 4 babies. My first was a natural birth, my second was a natural birth. My third was a frank breech, which was a scheduled csection. This pregnancy, I was so sure I was going to experience a vbac that I so desperatly hoped for. WRONG! This little one is footling breech. I've tried many exercises on spinning babies.com, talking to baby etc... I refused the version though, because I decided baby was in this position for a reason, and like my mom said "you don't mess with nature", and I agreed! So I will be going in for my second scheduled csection in 8 days @ 39 weeks and 6 days. My sweet OB has let me go almost a whole extra week than she did with my last csection in hopes baby will turn last minute. I'm not to hopeful about the turning part, but am getting over the loss of my vision to have a vbac and accepting my second csection. The end result is all that matters to me.

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  34. Thanks for your post! It totally hits home with me. We found out my first was breech at 37 weeks, we also tried everything including EVC and nothing worked. Eventually (about 39 weeks) I got to the point you were at, just accepting the facts and assumed there was a reason she was like that. I was so sad we didn't get to have a vaginal birth, but it was such a blessing that we found out well in advance that a c-section was going to be our birth plan, it gave us time to process and get use to the idea before we were actually in labor. In the end, we opted to go into labor on our own, which was wonderful! I totally reccomend that if your dr will let you. A few hours later we did the c-section (not an emergency by any means). It turned out to be a great birth and experience. That said, we were really hoping for a Vbac this time until somehow this currently preganncy (34 weeks now) is also breech! I am currenly still processing everything, so it was really nice to read your blog. We have known for about 2 1/2 weeks now and been trying everything under the sun to get her to flip. Nothing has worked so far. I don't think we will bother with the EVC this time, I just feel so differently about it this time than I did with my first. I am still hoping this little one turns on her own, but if she doesn't soon again I think I may need to just step back and relax and enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy.... having breech babies can be exhausting getting them to try to turn! Good luck with yours, in the end happy mama, happy baby is all that matters :)

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  35. What a courageous story. To have such strength to make that decision at such a pivotal time in your life is incredibly brave and respectable!
    When a women goes through unexpected complications leading to a cesarean, it can cause trauma to her, having an impact on the child. Not feeling prepared for this unexpected outcome can be the hardest part, and often homebirth care professionals are not trained in the special care that is needed after a cesarean
    Courtney Jarecki, co-founder of Homebirth Cesarean Project strives to spread the awareness and the proper education often over-looked of the possibility and proper preparation for cesareans.
    Whether you want to become a midwife or you are already immersed in the maternal health profession, this knowledge on how to support women whose planned homebirth ends in cesarean is vastly important to integrate into your midwife education.For all educators, mothers, midwives or doulas wanting more inspiration, you can find Courtney's article here.

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  36. This blog post just made my day. Thank you for sharing your experience. I recently found out at 36 weeks that my baby is breached and I started doing acupuncture with moxabustion (which I am also slightly obsessed with). I don't know if it will work, but my doctor is pushing an ECV at 37 1/2 weeks. She thinks I am a great candidate since the baby is small and there is plenty of amniotic fluid. However, the idea of something going wrong and putting my baby through that stress really breaks my heart. I just can't get comfortable with the ECV. I also became slightly obsessed with researching ways to turn your baby. I put an ice pack over his head is the other day and when I started to feel him move, I cried because I felt like I was torturing my baby with the cold! I think it's time to let nature run it's course and see if this little guy flips on his own. Your post and the comments made me much more comfortable with the idea of forgoing the ECV and accepting the scheduled csection (assuming he doesn't turn). I would much prefer to relax and enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy. When it comes down to it, we all just want a happy healthy baby.

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  37. Thanks for the post. Just the title alone lifted my spirits :) Went for my 34 scan today and found 2 issues of concern: 1. Baby didn't turn and 2. Baby's weight is on the smaller side (weight puts him at 32w range rather than 34w). Am now sitting and wondering why there is this big shift away from my pre-scan happy 'mode' just from knowing these 2 issues. And how my (and my husband's) stress is probably most harmful for baby now. Was telling myself to just enjoy my breech position baby if he wants to stay breeched and to pray that he plumps up and grows well. Your post, together with all the comments, is encouraging. Thanks for it!

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  38. I have a double footling breech kiddo, too, and am in my final weeks. I'm thinking that next week the doc will tell me I'm not a good candidate for an ECV, so I have to face the c-section I never wanted. I find your story inspiring and I agree 100% that kids can teach us the lesson that we actually have much less control than we think. Thank you for sharing this.

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  39. Thank you for this! 3 years later your post is continuing to help other breech mamas find hope and closure. I found out my baby was breech at 37 weeks 2 days. We tried an ECV a few days later, which I was a good candidate for, but it was unsuccessful. He made 7 attempts and even brought in another doctor to help out. Since then I've done spinning babies techniques, played music down low, done handstands in the pool, and had 6 visits to the chiropractor, but she's stayed breech.

    I totally identified with you about feeling guilty and having a hard time letting go of your original birth plans and romanticizing it would go just like your first birth did. The euphoria after I finished pushing and the joy when I could finally hold him was such a beautiful moment. Since learning C section is my most likely route, I've been overly concerned about missing out on that wonderful bonding. But lately I've been coming to a place of closure with it. Your words rang so true for me. I could have written them myself. Tomorrow is my scheduled C section, and they'll attempt another ECV as a last attempt, but I'm ready to accept however she decides to come into this world.

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  40. Thank you! I am 40 weeks 3 days and just scheduled my c section for tomorrow due to breech. I am frustrated and dissapointed since he was head down from 36-39 weeks and flipped at the end. I also have done most of the above and have had a week to come to peace with the fact that I am not in control and this baby is moving but not head down.....I am grateful to have had a week to accept this situation but it still feels so odd to "choose" your baby's birthday. At least I feel I have tried and done all I can do. He is completely healthy and at this point I have decided for myself it isn't worth the risk of pushing this out to wait until 41 weeks solely for the hope that he might flip. Thank you again for taking the words out of my mouth wi th this post

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  41. I've been following your beautiful Insta for a while now. My baby and I are at 38 weeks and a day, and yesterday I found out she is transverse footling breech. I've known for a week she was breech, did everything I could to flip her and thought she had flipped, so this news came down on me pretty hard. I also had a non medicated, 29 hour labor, doula, with my first girl, and was preparing for the same experience up until two weeks ago.

    I've read your post now several times. Each time more tears and more comfort. I too am searching to let go and connect with this sweet girl. Enjoy this precious time we have together before the day approaches when we're in each others arms. Thank you for sharing.

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