i lost someone that was woven into the fabric of my life. we weren't great friends but he was a constant and i miss him in this world. i had a chance to go to new york to mourn him with a lot of old friends, long time acquaintances, and loved ones. i mourned his loss and also our mortality and the fragility of our endeavors, big and small.
use your time well.
it made me realize how many insignificant things i hold in high esteem in my daily life. these creature comforts or "little things that make me smile" are typically, but not always, material items. being in a time of deep introspection during the holidays is a tricky thing. i love the holidays, gift giving, merry making, having reverence for the bigger picture, christmas carols. all of it. i stepped away from the computer for these past two weeks and immersed myself in family. times like these aren't meant to negate what you did before but to acknowledge a course correction and to separate the wheat from the chaff. i've tuned out a bit but the noise of products feels insanely loud even in this self-imposed break. it is a constant, conscious choice to not let the non-essential crowd my moments. sure i would look great in that coat that was on sale during black friday but instead i will be cloaked in my uniform of jeans and a sweater. non-descript but hopefully radiating this internal shift. i caught the message but did not take the bait. i'd rather be well rested because i fell asleep reading a book rather than worrying about pinterest, stats, followers or what free items i may or may not negotiate. this doesn't mean i won't ever do those things but i will choose to do those things rather than make them the default.
use your time well.
i have a willing mind and heart that i can use to listen to my little ones, to hear them, to engage with them. i can make a connection with a friend or stranger. i am healthy. i have harmony at home. i am able to hold my husband's hand. i can call my loved ones on the phone. i have so much gratitude for all that i can do. i am thankful for this lesson even though it comes through grief.
i'll use my time well.